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Simpsons Quotes:

Lisa: "Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"
Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness."
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„I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down." ~ Homer

„Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing“. ~ Homer

Homer: "Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

Homer: "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

Bart to Milhouse: "How can someone with glasses so thick be so stupid?"

Moe: "People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine."

Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.

Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.

Homer: Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

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Marge: We wouldn't be in this trouble if you'd just pay the heating bill.
Homer: I thought Global Warming would take care of it. Al Gore can't do anything right!
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Marge: My life is pretty boring. The other day some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door and I wouldn't let them leave. They finally snuck away when I went to make lemonade.

Lisa: I learned that beneath my goody two shoes lies some very dark socks.

Bart: “Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.”

Bart: “Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.”

I'm in a place where I don't know where I am! --Homer

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? --Homer Simpson

KAIP VYRAI SLAUGO MOTERI: Kodel TU lovoje? Sergi? O TU zinai, visai gerai
atrodai, nors ir sergi. As tai labai valgyti noriu, o TU? Ne, TU gulek
gulek - nesikelk. As pats viską pasidarysiu. Kur pas mus makaronai?
Dezutej? Kurioj - CIA jos penkios.. Kaip ji atrodo? Tu nesikelk, nereikia -
as pats susirasiu. Ne, sitoj miltai... Ne tai... Sitoje - cukrus... Koks
skirtumas, ką išpyliau!? Kruopos kazkokios. Kam atsikelei - to irgi...!? As
pats sutvarkysiu! Nesijaudink ir eik I lovą- viskas ok. Klausyk, o kur pas
mus atidarytuvas yra? Ne stalciuj nera - negi manai nepaziurejau. Vel
atsikelei?! Tu juk sergi. O, kur suradai? Stalciuj??? Nesuprantu - as ten
du kartus ziurejau... Eik, as viską padarysiu pats... Ooooi - isipjoviau
pirstą!! Ar pas mus yra jodo? Subintuok man prasau pirstą Atsargiai, labai
skauda! Galva suktis pradejo, einu gal prigulsiu.. Analgino atnesk. Isjunk
televizoriu. Pradaryk langą Ne, kiausinienes nenoriu, geriau blynus.
Uzdaryk virtuves duris, ligoniams reikia ramybes...

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pasaudykit

Geras vyru slaugymas gaunasi

Estų muitininkas prieina prie Audi "Quattro", kurioje susigrūdę sėdi penki bičiukai.
- Aaaudi kvaaatro. Jūs peenkti. Vienas turi išliiipti.
Bičai susinervinę:
- Tu ką? Kur išlipti? Kodėl? Prie ko čia keleivių skaičius?
- Nieeko nežinau. Vienas turi išliiipti.
- Tu ką, durnas gal? Pakviesk viršininką!
- Viršininkas uužimtas. Suuunkus atvejis - Fiat Uno. Važiuoja trise.

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– Ar pasikeitė kas nors moterų gyvenime, kai atsirado viagra?
– Taip, moterims dabar žymiai dažniau skauda galvą.

Seneliai mėgo žaisti slėpynių... Senelė kiekvieną rytą nuo senelio slėpdavo samanę... o jei senelis rasdavo tai vakare jau senelei reikėdavo slėptis

Merginos!!! Jūs turite spuogų , kamuoja antsvoris , jūsų problematiška oda,
silpni riebaluoti plaukai? Ateikite pas mus. Čia tamsu ir mes girti!